Help on resources regarding marriage

Rebekah Staggs

Active Member
Staff member
#1
I'm doing some research for a friend and I can't seem to get my brain working right. Figured I'd ask here.

What I'm trying to find are verses or webpages. Anything. In regards to men/women not being alone together. More in reference to a married person than a single.

IE. Why a married man/woman should not have lunch/pray/hang-out alone with a person of the other sex.

I know it in my head. I just can't seem to find some links or references for the friend beyond.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
 

wsbones

Beta Tester
#2
Just a couple thoughts:

Maybe it would be a stumblingblock to another person.

Ro 14:13
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
1Co 8:9
But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.

and one thing usually leads to another:
Jas 1:14
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Jas 1:15
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
 

RevTim

Beta Tester
#3
As it is now t-35 hours and counting -- approximately -- until we leave for vacation, I don't think I can help you any more than what you have here.

But what you have here is pretty good.

Blessings,
Pastor Tim
 

Rebekah Staggs

Active Member
Staff member
#4
ah, stumblingblock is one word. Told you my brain wasn't working right. :)

Have a good and safe trip Tim! See you when you get back.

Any others? The forum crashed so I don't know when I'll get this research to my friend.
 

RevTim

Beta Tester
#5
JaeByrd said:
ah, stumblingblock is one word. Told you my brain wasn't working right. :)

Have a good and safe trip Tim! See you when you get back.

Any others? The forum crashed so I don't know when I'll get this research to my friend.
Well, what's the update, dudette?

And if I can think of it, I'll try and get you a very good web site on family matters. If you'll PM me, it will help me remember to look.

Blessings,
Pastor Tim
 

Rebekah Staggs

Active Member
Staff member
#6
Feel free to post a link or two here if you care to. I'll save it for future reference.

Several of the other pastor's wives shared some stories that illustrated very good reasons why married men should not do so.

Unfortunately for my friend the Christian Counselor they started going to validated that its okay for a man to go out for lunch/drinks/hold hands and pray alone with his female business partner. So.....*shrug*
 

RevTim

Beta Tester
#8
Too bad about the counseling thing.

We went to Lancaster, PA.

It was okay.

First one we took in 5 years, so I guess on some things my expectations might have been too high.

I hope we can take another one soon-er, that I'll get more rest on it, and spend less money.

Thanks for asking,
Pastor Tim
 

Jerry

Beta Tester
#9
JaeByrd said:
Unfortunately for my friend the Christian Counselor they started going to validated that its okay for a man to go out for lunch/drinks/hold hands and pray alone with his female business partner. So.....*shrug*
How unfortunate. Often contemporary "Christian" counselers take such a view because of a liberally-skewed view of feminism. To not go out to lunch with a woman suggests that the woman cannot be viewed as just an equal business partner, like other male friends or business partners. Therefore we have to allow for these sorts of meetings, just to keep up the guise of equality.

On the other hand, the counselor could be just plain stupid. Good grief, how do some of these people think affairs actually get started? Rarely do people go looking for them. Usually emotional connections are made before physical ones, and I can't think of a better place to start making an emotional connection then while holding hands and praying together.

Reminds me of a sign we put on our college dorm room door (back when I was, uh, "mature"). It said "Women's counseling, 24 hours a day." The joke being, of course, that we would be willing to "counsel" any young ladies seeking help. And this being an all-male dorm, it was even more of an obvious joke (at least we thought so), since no women would ever even see the sign. One day there was a knock at the door, and one of the neighbor guys came in. He was a freshman, kind of a nerd (even more than I was). He sheepishly said, "Um, are you the ones that help guys with their women problems?" We looked at each other in shock as we realized he was totally serious. He had such a hurt look on his face we didn't have the heart to tell him it was a joke. "Uh, yeah. Yes, we are. Um, go ahead," we said hesitantly. And for the next 45 minutes he laid out every single rejection he had ever been through, and asked us how he could gain confidence in asking women out on dates. Since I was actually pondering the same question for myself, I really didn't have any good advice for him. We said some things that sounded good and sent him on his way. As soon as he was out of earshot we just busted out laughing because it was so unbelievable that he thought we were serious.

Anyway, that went off track. Boy, that was a loooong time ago.

Jerry
 

Rebekah Staggs

Active Member
Staff member
#10
First one we took in 5 years, so I guess on some things my expectations might have been too high.

I hope we can take another one soon-er, that I'll get more rest on it, and spend less money.
Isn't that most vacations? You need a vacation FROM your vacation....I grew up on a vacation spot, Kauai-Hawaii, and you bring your wallet and forget everything else. ;)

How unfortunate. Often contemporary "Christian" counselers take such a view because of a liberally-skewed view of feminism. To not go out to lunch with a woman suggests that the woman cannot be viewed as just an equal business partner, like other male friends or business partners. Therefore we have to allow for these sorts of meetings, just to keep up the guise of equality.

On the other hand, the counselor could be just plain stupid. Good grief, how do some of these people think affairs actually get started? Rarely do people go looking for them. Usually emotional connections are made before physical ones, and I can't think of a better place to start making an emotional connection then while holding hands and praying together.
The stupid part is probably right. No way they will change now as the husband feels he has the counselor "on his side" and everything else is wrong. Its messed up and not looking good. All I can do is pray for them. Thanks to all of you that posted with scriptures and thoughts.
 
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